Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
