Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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