it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
