so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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