i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
