you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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