I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You made out with two different species that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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