There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I want to make a zoo with you.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
