he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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