Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
