I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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