If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
