Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
How does one acquire holy water?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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