Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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