Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
