i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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