drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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