And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So squirting runs in the family.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
