dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Randomize
