My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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