Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm too high and old for this...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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