ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
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