When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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