Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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