he shaved USA in his pubs
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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