just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize