So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
