come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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