I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You can't motorboat a personality
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Randomize