Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
