I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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