if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.