Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently you make a good broom.

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  (919): Apparently you make a good broom. http://tfl.nu/3otj
  Replies (8) Good night (576) Bad night (762)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"

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  (301): Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal" http://tfl.nu/5b46
  Replies (48) Good night (3944) Bad night (720)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  You and your mom would make an amazing tag team

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  (614): My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex (1-614): You and your mom would make an amazing tag team http://tfl.nu/l8wh
  Replies (23) Good night (8008) Bad night (1250)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?

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  (702): Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on? http://tfl.nu/7zfe
  Replies (11) Good night (2762) Bad night (754)
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  (408): View more from California

  Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.

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  (408): Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless. http://tfl.nu/ejtk
  Replies (19) Good night (3169) Bad night (792)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake

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  (267): My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake http://tfl.nu/gq0m
  Replies (13) Good night (3434) Bad night (1241)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.

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  (732): I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach. http://tfl.nu/2w13
  Replies (8) Good night (2502) Bad night (544)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.

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  (651): I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like. http://tfl.nu/5ic3
  Replies (2) Good night (512) Bad night (815)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.

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  (630): Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me. (1-630): Pulling out all the stops on being a lady. http://tfl.nu/6gwr
  Replies (2) Good night (1305) Bad night (430)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set

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  (702): By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set http://tfl.nu/1rax
  Replies (12) Good night (1265) Bad night (802)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT

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  (503): THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT http://tfl.nu/3zvj
  Replies (13) Good night (518) Bad night (1491)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open

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  (406): I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open http://tfl.nu/p54l
  Replies (2) Good night (487) Bad night (233)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...

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  (203): Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding... http://tfl.nu/mtt2
  Replies (2) Good night (616) Bad night (234)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.

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  (954): When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex. http://tfl.nu/36q6
  Replies (4) Good night (1101) Bad night (166)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.

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  (720): Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going. http://tfl.nu/q6rk
  Replies (3) Good night (721) Bad night (244)

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