Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.