ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear