I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?