Pappa wants mamma naked
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.