Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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