i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
