I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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