maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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