The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
