I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
