If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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