He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
