I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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