Pappa wants mamma naked
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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