Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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