we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Randomize
