i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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