Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize