my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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