thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
