absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
