god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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