Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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