I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
