Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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