Im at strip club and am horny
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
