Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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