What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
