This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
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Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
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just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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