Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
