No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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