dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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