eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She tied me up with her honor cords...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
