I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
