Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
